Over the years I’ve unintentionally niched myself in a 55 and up community near me, and I’ve had the honor of working with many families that have lost a loved one. After losing my own mother, I went through that myself while assisting my father in navigating the process of final arrangements, the unnecessarily complex probate process, deciding what to do with clothes and things that are no longer needed (while also understanding that someone may not be ready to part with certain items right away and that in itself is a process).
I understand all too well that while grieving, making the smallest decision feels like moving a mountain. It's overwhelming. To then go through that all over again when my mother-in-law passed away a few years after that.
I know what it’s like to walk into a room where all the items are still left as they were when someone left the house that day for the last time not realizing they wouldn’t make it home that evening. Toothbrush left next to the sink, laundry left in the dryer, dirty dishes in the sink, unopened mail on the table… I always make the time to soak it all in and send prayers to the person that has passed and to their families as they navigate this difficult time. It’s a reminder that every day is truly a gift.
I know what it’s like to walk into a home that was obviously loved and filled with many family photos over the years. The children are grown and out of the house, and now one spouse has passed away leaving the remaining spouse the monumental task of now going through their lifelong accumulation of things filled with memories; photo’s (one of the most challenging of items to go through!), collectibles, furniture, kitchenware, etc. all while grieving.
Our parents and loved ones may also facing the transition of moving to a smaller home and/or room at an assisted living community or room with one of their children. This is also not something to be taken lightly as each loss of independence can take its toll on a person. I make the time to take in the photos, imagine the space with kids running around the house, family dinners at the dining room table, etc. and send prayers to the family for comfort and peace as they move through this time and on to a different stage in life, while thanking the home for providing a safe place for that family with anticipation for a new family to make many great memories there.
Often adult children don’t live nearby to assist with this process. They’re not familiar with local organizations that will gladly accept donations of food, furniture, towels, etc. Often they’ve never gone through the probate process and are not sure where to start, what to do, or who to call. On numerous occasions I’ve been able to walk through this process with them.
Listened to stories about their loved one, grieved with them, allowed them their space and time to get their bearings, allowed time to decide what they wanted to keep and what they wanted to donate or sell. Once they have made that decision I will coordinate the donations of items for them, I will have the home cleaned for them, coordinate any necessary repairs for them, so they don’t have the additional stress of taking that on.
I’m proud of the service that I provide and being able to walk through some very trying times and emotionally draining times with them. I truly care about the people I am blessed to serve every day.
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